It went well, the doctor typed down everything we said as we said it (a pleasant change from our local GP's who dodn't write notes until afterwards and sometimes get things wrong), and then got the paediatrician in to talk to us as well.
The paediatrician is of the opinion that Jaycen has ADHD, and also has either high functioning Asbergers Syndrome (a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder) or OCD, or even all 3 of them.
To be honest I am not at all surprised. I have known that he was different to other boys his age since he was 18 months old, and suspected ADHD and Asbergers since he was 27 months old and learned how to unlock the front door, open it and cross the road in peak hour school drop-off/pick-up traffic around the same time that he started to obsess over certain things.
Jaycen is an extremely intelligent little boy, he could count to 10 by the age of 2, and knew all the colours of the rainbow and count to 15 by age 3, now at age 4 he can count to 20, dresses himself and puts his shoes on (we are still working on tying his shoelaces on the few shoes he has that don't have velcro). He makes decisions over what he does and what he eats. The only things he is really behind in are the pincer grasp and drawing - he still just does squiggles and lines and only a few circles, although lately he has become obsessed with drawing rainbows. He is also extremely creative, he makes Jewellery with me displaying a very advanced use of colour and shapes, and his hand/eye coordination is very good, at daycare he makes the most amazing creations using the magnetic building pieces (similar to meccano but in different flat shapes like squares, rectangles, diamons and triangles).
The reason why I have suspected Asbergers since he was 27 months old is because I have dated (and even once been engaged to) 2 men with Asbergers Syndrome, and Jaycen is so similar to both of them in temperament and in his actions/behaviour that it is quite scary.
Jaycen is obsessive about cars, motorbikes, trucks, trains, helicopters and Chuggington (a childrens TV show with talking trains). He has aversions to vegetables, bee's and Apples. He gets separation anxiety when I am not around, and he has anger issues because he is unable to control his emotions, basically he is either extremely happy/excited or extremely sad/angry with no grey area's in between.
The paediatrician also confirmed our suspicions about a sensory issue, in that Jaycen has to touch EVERYTHING that he see's, even if it is dangerous to him. He also has to count everything as well, a good example of this is the other day when Matt took Jaycen shopping with him, at the checkout Jaycen had to count every single bar of chocolate in the top layer of the display and when Matt tried to pull him away Jaycen had a tantrum and insisted on finishing his counting - this could be a symptom of both OCD and Asbergers, hence why the Paediatrician didn't want to give us a full diagnosis of either of those 2 things without further investigation.
The 3 photo's below are examples of what he does with his toys and other things. The Play center that is in pieces in the top 2 photo's is one that we have just been given by a friend and it was all sitting in a pile of pieces behind our gate yesterday morning and up until 4pm when Matt got home his morning shift at work.
Around 5pm-6pm I brought the kids inside for dinner (it was a beautiful day yesterday so I sent them outside for the day, unlike today which is cold and overcast and typical of mid-late Autumn weather lol) and this is what I found at the back door. Jaycen had carried/dragged every single piece of the play center and lined them up like this, even going so far to mostly put the pieces in order of size or colour.
The bottom photo is an example of what happens here on a typical day with his trains and cars, he either lines them up like the top 2 photo's (usually on his windowsill or on an old bathroom mat that he has claimed for this exact purpose) or he puts them into a circle like in the bottom photo where he has put his Chuggington trains into a circle and placed other trains and a car inside.
Jaycen is very demanding, and it takes a toll on me every single day that I can't do anything to curb what I see as bad behaviour but which is normal for him. Add my PND into the mix and it's a bad situation for all of us. I am trying to learn patience, but it is getting harder as he gets older and lashes out more, mostly at me and his sister Elise (thankfully he hasn't lashed out at Emily yet and I hope he never does).
Having a child with special needs, whether it is due to physical or mental disability, or even from ADHD or Aspergers or Autism (in all of which the child had special needs) that differ from "Normal" children, is hard, and it feels harder now that we have a more definite (though not 100% decided) answer as why Jaycen is the way that he is. I just wish it had been picked up sooner so that we would have had more time to learn coping strategies and implement a stricter routine with him. I and angry at the MCHN who saw Jaycen at his monthly check ups and weigh in's, I told her something wasn't right, I expressed my concerns at every appointment, and every time I was brushed off and ignored as an over worried and silly first time mother. I feel let down by the MCHN, one of the people who are meant to be on the lookout for these things so that early intervention can be given as soon as possible to allow the child to live what we consider to be a normal life.
Mothers intuition is a powerful and marvelous thing, and in the majority of cases it is always right. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't push the matter further than just mentioning my concerns. Maybe if I had things would be different now ans we wouldn't be having as much trouble coping with Jaycen's behaviour as we are now. Maybe I would have been able and willing to seek help for how I was feeling earlier too, maybe I wouldn't have PND right now.
So many maybe's, and no way of knowing what really could have been.
For now I am taking one day at a time, taking my antidepressants at the same time every morning, trying to be the best mother that I can be to Jaycen and my Girls, trying to teach Jaycen patience and that there are consequences to his actions. What more can I do? I don't know yet. I will know more after he has seen the Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist and Psychologist - whenever that may be - and after we have seen the paed again on July 17th.
This friday we are leaving for QLD, I just hope that I can manage on my own with all 3 kids.
Regards,
Jenna.
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