As I said in the previous post we have known that something was up with Jaycen for a while, I suspected things (ADHD and Aspergers Syndrome) but couldn't prove anything until we got a new Maternal and Child Health Nurse in July 2012, after Emily was born, who saw what I saw and gave us a recommendation for our GP to refer us to a Paediatrician.
During Easter 2012 we discovered that when Jaycen ate chocolate he became quite violent towards me and his little sister Elise, he would hit us and became rather nasty in general, so we made the decision to cut chocolate out of his life, he never had it on a regular basis anyway as we made an effort to make sure that he ate only healthy foods as Matt and I are both overweight and we didn't want him to end up struggling to lose weight as an adult like us, so it was a simple thing to do.
In February while Matt was home sick with the blood clot in his leg we had 2 and half wonderful weeks where Jaycen was on his best behaviour, being helpful and nice, not getting hyperactive or doing anything naughty and we thought that it would be the end of all the trouble we had had with him, but it wasn't to last, at the end of those 2 and a half weeks he went straight back to his old self and progressively got worse.
In March we decided to try a gluten free diet to see if that helped as we had been told that going gluten free could sometimes help ADHD children reduce their hyperactive behaviour, unfortunately this didn't work.
At the start of April Jaycen attended the birthday party of one of his daycare buddies, and ate lollies (I didn't realise there were lollies there until after he had started eating them) and within 15 minutes he was so hyperactive and into everything that I was starting to stress out and worried that we would be asked to leave (we had walked almost 4km just to get there! and I didn't want to have to walk all that way back home, uphill, with a hyperactive child who wouldn't listen to anything that I said), 30 minutes later Matt arrived and picked us up and we went home because we needed to get Jaycen out of there before he did something really bad.
At home Jaycen ran around like a crazy person, jabbering on about nothing in particular, getting into everything, hitting his sister, touching things that he knows he isn't allowed to touch, hitting the dog (how our dog, Libby, puts up with it I will never understand, she is so patient with him and treats him like he is her own puppy), and he started having jerky movements and twitching. After an hour he finally crashed on his bed and fell into a deep sleep the we couldn't wake him from, he was still twitching and I was a bit worried.
When he woke up 2 hours later he was a very subdued little boy and not his normal self. We made the decision then and there to cut processed sugars completely out of his diet.
It has been a difficult month trying to keep sugar out of his diet, he can no longer have his favourite Apricot Jam on toast and sandwiches and we are limited to giving him Vegemite instead. He cannot have most stir fry sauces, or much sauce (tomato sauce and BBQ sauce) in general, because they contain too much sugar as well so we tend to not give him any at all unless it's a special occasion.
Yesterday we discovered that he cannot have strawberries. At daycare they do a morning tea for the children with fruits, carrots, celery, cheese and berries. Jaycen loves strawberries so of course he ate as many of them as he could get and ignored everything else on the plates.
According to his room teacher, Tony, within minutes of eating the strawberries he became so hyperactive and uncontrollable that they had to let him outside for an hour (in the drizzle that kept on coming and going yesterday) just to run off some of the energy as he was disturbing the other children in his room. Jaycen stayed hyperactive for the rest of the day until he finally fell asleep at 7:30pm.
At least we now know that Strawberries are a trigger, but it is sad that he can no longer eat one of his favourite foods.
I am going to be writing up a list of things that he can't eat tonight to take up to QLD with us so that my mum and stepdad know what he can't eat as well.
To say that I am worried is an understatement. I am scared, frustrated and terrified about the future and what it will mean for Jaycen. All I ever wanted was for him to have a normal life, now I don't know what the future holds. We had planned to send him to school next year, but now he may have to stay back and do kindergarten next year instead and start school the year after - the year that he turns 7! If he starts school the year that he turns 7 I am scared that he will be teased and called dumb because he will be so much older (almost 2 years older) than the majority of the other children in his class. It is a scary thought, and I know firsthand how cruel other children can be to someone who is different to the norm.
So here I am scared, worried and fearful of what is to come.
Until next time.
Jenna.
Monday 13 May 2013
Saturday 11 May 2013
A Possible Diagnosis For Jaycen
For those who know me they will know that I have complained a lot about Jaycen's behaviour and how hyperactive he is. On wednesday I did my driving test and failed yet again (so now I am setting my sights for July to do it again and hopefully pass, this should give me more time to work on the things caused me to fail), and in the afternoon we had Jaycen's first Paediatrician appointment.
It went well, the doctor typed down everything we said as we said it (a pleasant change from our local GP's who dodn't write notes until afterwards and sometimes get things wrong), and then got the paediatrician in to talk to us as well.
The paediatrician is of the opinion that Jaycen has ADHD, and also has either high functioning Asbergers Syndrome (a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder) or OCD, or even all 3 of them.
To be honest I am not at all surprised. I have known that he was different to other boys his age since he was 18 months old, and suspected ADHD and Asbergers since he was 27 months old and learned how to unlock the front door, open it and cross the road in peak hour school drop-off/pick-up traffic around the same time that he started to obsess over certain things.
Jaycen is an extremely intelligent little boy, he could count to 10 by the age of 2, and knew all the colours of the rainbow and count to 15 by age 3, now at age 4 he can count to 20, dresses himself and puts his shoes on (we are still working on tying his shoelaces on the few shoes he has that don't have velcro). He makes decisions over what he does and what he eats. The only things he is really behind in are the pincer grasp and drawing - he still just does squiggles and lines and only a few circles, although lately he has become obsessed with drawing rainbows. He is also extremely creative, he makes Jewellery with me displaying a very advanced use of colour and shapes, and his hand/eye coordination is very good, at daycare he makes the most amazing creations using the magnetic building pieces (similar to meccano but in different flat shapes like squares, rectangles, diamons and triangles).
The reason why I have suspected Asbergers since he was 27 months old is because I have dated (and even once been engaged to) 2 men with Asbergers Syndrome, and Jaycen is so similar to both of them in temperament and in his actions/behaviour that it is quite scary.
Jaycen is obsessive about cars, motorbikes, trucks, trains, helicopters and Chuggington (a childrens TV show with talking trains). He has aversions to vegetables, bee's and Apples. He gets separation anxiety when I am not around, and he has anger issues because he is unable to control his emotions, basically he is either extremely happy/excited or extremely sad/angry with no grey area's in between.
The paediatrician also confirmed our suspicions about a sensory issue, in that Jaycen has to touch EVERYTHING that he see's, even if it is dangerous to him. He also has to count everything as well, a good example of this is the other day when Matt took Jaycen shopping with him, at the checkout Jaycen had to count every single bar of chocolate in the top layer of the display and when Matt tried to pull him away Jaycen had a tantrum and insisted on finishing his counting - this could be a symptom of both OCD and Asbergers, hence why the Paediatrician didn't want to give us a full diagnosis of either of those 2 things without further investigation.
The 3 photo's below are examples of what he does with his toys and other things. The Play center that is in pieces in the top 2 photo's is one that we have just been given by a friend and it was all sitting in a pile of pieces behind our gate yesterday morning and up until 4pm when Matt got home his morning shift at work.
Around 5pm-6pm I brought the kids inside for dinner (it was a beautiful day yesterday so I sent them outside for the day, unlike today which is cold and overcast and typical of mid-late Autumn weather lol) and this is what I found at the back door. Jaycen had carried/dragged every single piece of the play center and lined them up like this, even going so far to mostly put the pieces in order of size or colour.
The bottom photo is an example of what happens here on a typical day with his trains and cars, he either lines them up like the top 2 photo's (usually on his windowsill or on an old bathroom mat that he has claimed for this exact purpose) or he puts them into a circle like in the bottom photo where he has put his Chuggington trains into a circle and placed other trains and a car inside.
Jaycen is very demanding, and it takes a toll on me every single day that I can't do anything to curb what I see as bad behaviour but which is normal for him. Add my PND into the mix and it's a bad situation for all of us. I am trying to learn patience, but it is getting harder as he gets older and lashes out more, mostly at me and his sister Elise (thankfully he hasn't lashed out at Emily yet and I hope he never does).
Having a child with special needs, whether it is due to physical or mental disability, or even from ADHD or Aspergers or Autism (in all of which the child had special needs) that differ from "Normal" children, is hard, and it feels harder now that we have a more definite (though not 100% decided) answer as why Jaycen is the way that he is. I just wish it had been picked up sooner so that we would have had more time to learn coping strategies and implement a stricter routine with him. I and angry at the MCHN who saw Jaycen at his monthly check ups and weigh in's, I told her something wasn't right, I expressed my concerns at every appointment, and every time I was brushed off and ignored as an over worried and silly first time mother. I feel let down by the MCHN, one of the people who are meant to be on the lookout for these things so that early intervention can be given as soon as possible to allow the child to live what we consider to be a normal life.
Mothers intuition is a powerful and marvelous thing, and in the majority of cases it is always right. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't push the matter further than just mentioning my concerns. Maybe if I had things would be different now ans we wouldn't be having as much trouble coping with Jaycen's behaviour as we are now. Maybe I would have been able and willing to seek help for how I was feeling earlier too, maybe I wouldn't have PND right now.
So many maybe's, and no way of knowing what really could have been.
For now I am taking one day at a time, taking my antidepressants at the same time every morning, trying to be the best mother that I can be to Jaycen and my Girls, trying to teach Jaycen patience and that there are consequences to his actions. What more can I do? I don't know yet. I will know more after he has seen the Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist and Psychologist - whenever that may be - and after we have seen the paed again on July 17th.
This friday we are leaving for QLD, I just hope that I can manage on my own with all 3 kids.
Regards,
Jenna.
It went well, the doctor typed down everything we said as we said it (a pleasant change from our local GP's who dodn't write notes until afterwards and sometimes get things wrong), and then got the paediatrician in to talk to us as well.
The paediatrician is of the opinion that Jaycen has ADHD, and also has either high functioning Asbergers Syndrome (a form of Autism Spectrum Disorder) or OCD, or even all 3 of them.
To be honest I am not at all surprised. I have known that he was different to other boys his age since he was 18 months old, and suspected ADHD and Asbergers since he was 27 months old and learned how to unlock the front door, open it and cross the road in peak hour school drop-off/pick-up traffic around the same time that he started to obsess over certain things.
Jaycen is an extremely intelligent little boy, he could count to 10 by the age of 2, and knew all the colours of the rainbow and count to 15 by age 3, now at age 4 he can count to 20, dresses himself and puts his shoes on (we are still working on tying his shoelaces on the few shoes he has that don't have velcro). He makes decisions over what he does and what he eats. The only things he is really behind in are the pincer grasp and drawing - he still just does squiggles and lines and only a few circles, although lately he has become obsessed with drawing rainbows. He is also extremely creative, he makes Jewellery with me displaying a very advanced use of colour and shapes, and his hand/eye coordination is very good, at daycare he makes the most amazing creations using the magnetic building pieces (similar to meccano but in different flat shapes like squares, rectangles, diamons and triangles).
The reason why I have suspected Asbergers since he was 27 months old is because I have dated (and even once been engaged to) 2 men with Asbergers Syndrome, and Jaycen is so similar to both of them in temperament and in his actions/behaviour that it is quite scary.
Jaycen is obsessive about cars, motorbikes, trucks, trains, helicopters and Chuggington (a childrens TV show with talking trains). He has aversions to vegetables, bee's and Apples. He gets separation anxiety when I am not around, and he has anger issues because he is unable to control his emotions, basically he is either extremely happy/excited or extremely sad/angry with no grey area's in between.
The paediatrician also confirmed our suspicions about a sensory issue, in that Jaycen has to touch EVERYTHING that he see's, even if it is dangerous to him. He also has to count everything as well, a good example of this is the other day when Matt took Jaycen shopping with him, at the checkout Jaycen had to count every single bar of chocolate in the top layer of the display and when Matt tried to pull him away Jaycen had a tantrum and insisted on finishing his counting - this could be a symptom of both OCD and Asbergers, hence why the Paediatrician didn't want to give us a full diagnosis of either of those 2 things without further investigation.
The 3 photo's below are examples of what he does with his toys and other things. The Play center that is in pieces in the top 2 photo's is one that we have just been given by a friend and it was all sitting in a pile of pieces behind our gate yesterday morning and up until 4pm when Matt got home his morning shift at work.
Around 5pm-6pm I brought the kids inside for dinner (it was a beautiful day yesterday so I sent them outside for the day, unlike today which is cold and overcast and typical of mid-late Autumn weather lol) and this is what I found at the back door. Jaycen had carried/dragged every single piece of the play center and lined them up like this, even going so far to mostly put the pieces in order of size or colour.
The bottom photo is an example of what happens here on a typical day with his trains and cars, he either lines them up like the top 2 photo's (usually on his windowsill or on an old bathroom mat that he has claimed for this exact purpose) or he puts them into a circle like in the bottom photo where he has put his Chuggington trains into a circle and placed other trains and a car inside.
Jaycen is very demanding, and it takes a toll on me every single day that I can't do anything to curb what I see as bad behaviour but which is normal for him. Add my PND into the mix and it's a bad situation for all of us. I am trying to learn patience, but it is getting harder as he gets older and lashes out more, mostly at me and his sister Elise (thankfully he hasn't lashed out at Emily yet and I hope he never does).
Having a child with special needs, whether it is due to physical or mental disability, or even from ADHD or Aspergers or Autism (in all of which the child had special needs) that differ from "Normal" children, is hard, and it feels harder now that we have a more definite (though not 100% decided) answer as why Jaycen is the way that he is. I just wish it had been picked up sooner so that we would have had more time to learn coping strategies and implement a stricter routine with him. I and angry at the MCHN who saw Jaycen at his monthly check ups and weigh in's, I told her something wasn't right, I expressed my concerns at every appointment, and every time I was brushed off and ignored as an over worried and silly first time mother. I feel let down by the MCHN, one of the people who are meant to be on the lookout for these things so that early intervention can be given as soon as possible to allow the child to live what we consider to be a normal life.
Mothers intuition is a powerful and marvelous thing, and in the majority of cases it is always right. I knew something wasn't right but I didn't push the matter further than just mentioning my concerns. Maybe if I had things would be different now ans we wouldn't be having as much trouble coping with Jaycen's behaviour as we are now. Maybe I would have been able and willing to seek help for how I was feeling earlier too, maybe I wouldn't have PND right now.
So many maybe's, and no way of knowing what really could have been.
For now I am taking one day at a time, taking my antidepressants at the same time every morning, trying to be the best mother that I can be to Jaycen and my Girls, trying to teach Jaycen patience and that there are consequences to his actions. What more can I do? I don't know yet. I will know more after he has seen the Occupational Therapist, Speech Therapist and Psychologist - whenever that may be - and after we have seen the paed again on July 17th.
This friday we are leaving for QLD, I just hope that I can manage on my own with all 3 kids.
Regards,
Jenna.
Tuesday 7 May 2013
A Little Bit Disappointed...
My client due early next month has decided not to have me as her doula. I am disappointed, this would have been my first certifying birth, my plane tickets for me and the kids have already been paid for and cannot be refunded due to the airlines no refund policy (that's $550 we've wasted for something that will never happen now).
I'm a bit angry, not at my now former client, but at myself for getting so excited over being given the gift of the opportunity to attend her impending birth. I should have stayed neutral, calm, not looked forward to it so much. I shouldn't have cared as much in the lead up, or planned anything until right at the end.
A small part of me is saying that I shouldn't have even offered to be her doula in the first place, that I was only asking for trouble as I live so far away from her, 1000's of kilometers away from her in a different state entirely.
It hurts, and her announcement came at the wrong time, literally just days after I had had an emotional breakdown from the PND where I wanted to end my life. I feel like things are fucked up all the time, I've even given in, sucked up my pride, and gone down the path of getting antidepressants (Efexor-XR 75mg) from a GP at my local doctors clinic. I haven't started them yet, but I am planning to start them in 2 days time. I hope they work, because I don't want to go through another emotional breakdown again like I did last week, it was scary.
The week before last I also failed my driving test, it gutted me as well, and may have contributed to the breakdown.
Tomorrow I am taking the driving test again, so I am hoping that this time I will pass it.
That's all for now.
Until next time,
Jenna
I'm a bit angry, not at my now former client, but at myself for getting so excited over being given the gift of the opportunity to attend her impending birth. I should have stayed neutral, calm, not looked forward to it so much. I shouldn't have cared as much in the lead up, or planned anything until right at the end.
A small part of me is saying that I shouldn't have even offered to be her doula in the first place, that I was only asking for trouble as I live so far away from her, 1000's of kilometers away from her in a different state entirely.
It hurts, and her announcement came at the wrong time, literally just days after I had had an emotional breakdown from the PND where I wanted to end my life. I feel like things are fucked up all the time, I've even given in, sucked up my pride, and gone down the path of getting antidepressants (Efexor-XR 75mg) from a GP at my local doctors clinic. I haven't started them yet, but I am planning to start them in 2 days time. I hope they work, because I don't want to go through another emotional breakdown again like I did last week, it was scary.
The week before last I also failed my driving test, it gutted me as well, and may have contributed to the breakdown.
Tomorrow I am taking the driving test again, so I am hoping that this time I will pass it.
That's all for now.
Until next time,
Jenna
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